


A Million Deaths

by Sodey



Series: Traumatic Meditations [2]
Category: Star Fox Series
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Gen, Hospitalization, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-26
Packaged: 2021-03-26 08:41:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30103296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sodey/pseuds/Sodey
Summary: Prequel to The Limbo Between Past and Future.After being trapped for an undetermined amount of time while being subjected to an experiment that would have rid him of the fear of death through exposure therapy, Wolf must figure out just what kind of person he is and what he's now capable of, amongst other things.
Series: Traumatic Meditations [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2191656
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Sargasso Hideout go to retrieve Wolf after an infiltration mission requested by Corneria goes wrong.

Consciousness came and went for Wolf. He had no idea what was going on since the last thing he remembered clearly was fighting off those Ripley cultists to make sure both Leon and Panther could come back with reinforcements. The time since then was fuzzy with little difference spent between nightmares and more nightmares. He couldn't tell if he had woken up or not, but one thing that was truly constant was the sharp pain he felt in the back of his head and he focused on that as another situation played out before him.

Panther and Leon flanked him on either side. He looked to both, but neither would meet his gaze. They were travelling down the narrow halls of the Sargasso Hideout and Wolf knew there was a blaster aimed at his head just a couple of inches away. It didn't matter who was holding it since the motivation was always mutiny anyway. At least, that's what he thought.

"You fucked up Wolf, you fucked up hard."

"What, too many of my men died?" Wolf replied sarcastically.

"Something like that. Your attitude is a part of the problem and we aim to fix it. You're a liability, Wolf." They had walked to the entrance of the air pressure chamber.

"I'm a liability, how so?" Wolf knew all he had to do was duck and-

He could feel a flash of heat burn its way through his head. He saw a red beam of light exit between his eyes and he stopped dead in his tracks. "You got too arrogant and callous." Wolf fell to his knees. "And we're tired of being used for fodder."

He keeled over sideways.

He couldn't feel his body.

In reality, an all-out battle was going on. Leon and Panther had rounded up the rest of the Sargasso crew, more than 800 in number. An infiltration of The Aphelion had gone awry. During their retreat, Wolf single-handedly kept the Ripley cultists at bay as Leon and Panther worked to get out alive. 

Both Leon and Panther ran circles around the slow and cumbersome fighters of the cultists, allowing the space pirates to flat out invade The Aphelion station guns ablazing. 

Through the halls, dozens of corpses lay, shot up, mostly cultists who had dreamed of reaching the next stage of evolution through Ripley's efforts.

Leon pounced with his knife as another cultist rounded the corner. In one fluid motion, he had cut the bastard's stomach open and he watched with delight as the cultist's intestines began to fall out. He cackled as the monkey struggled to put it all back in. Panther stood back to cover Leon. At one point, he would have been disgusted at such barbarism, but he'd long gotten used to it. As Leon came back around to thrust his knife upwards into the cultist's neck, another cultist rushed him with a bat. Before Leon could move however, a shot rang out. The formerly diving body of the cultist fell as the shot, fired by Panther, entered one ear and out the other, splattering the wall with blood, bone, and brain. Two pirates behind Panther acted as the rear guard.

Leon looked at Panther indignantly. "I could've taken him you know!"

Panther snorted and shook his head. "Panther thinks that Leon getting ahead of himself."

"Yeah, what do you know?" Leon muttered under his breath.

More shots rang out as cultists opened fire from the entrance of a nearby room. Which led to Leon and company to dive back around the corner they had just come from.

They all could hear an explosion in the distance, most likely a grenade had been thrown. 

Leon asked "You got a 90 degree scope right?"

"Panther already has it out, they're still stunned." He whispered. "Panther shall go. Cover me, all 3 of you." They all nodded.

Panther got up and quickly shimmied himself along the wall where the door was. That was when the 3 cultists popped out. He ripped the rifle out of one's hands and elbowed him in the chest, shooting the second cultist in the head, killing him instantly. Panther misaimed and shot the third in the neck as the first attempted to stab him. The first was shot down in a hail of laser fire by the 3 others. 

Panther looked back to the third one who was rapidly losing blood, shakily holding his rifle. Panther shot him in the head as well and he collapsed. "Panther is sorry about that." He said. "It was supposed to be instant."

"Let's check that room out." Leon said. There wasn't much useful to be found, considering the room seemed to be some kind of shrine to a bizarre looking statue. It looked like an ape, but it was hairless and massive, and it held a predatory gaze upon them.

"I don't like the look of that." Said one of the pirates. 

"Where did they even get this?" The other asked.

"It doesn't matter, we'll get it after." Leon said.

"Yes, Leon is right. Wolf is top priority, we need to find him." Panther concurred. "We need to check every nook and cranny of this place."

"Well, he's not here, let's go." Leon said, rather urgently.

They jogged their way through hallway after hallway, the corpses of shot up cultists and a few of their men lined the hallway, blood having been splattered everywhere, especially where the grenade had gone off, throwing body parts every which way.

It seemed the majority of the cultists had been killed as the group ran unimpeded through to the bridge, collecting their colleagues as they did so. They stormed the bridge, shooting anyone that even thought of resisting. "Where is Lord O'Donnell?!" One of the lead pirates yelled.

In the captain's chair sat Darren Ripley. Without facing them, he said "You'll find him in the main laboratory in the middle of this station. He is currently immobilized."

"Lead us there." Leon ordered. 

"Gladly." Darren replied. He got up with many rifles and blasters trained on him. A wide smile grew on his greying, furred face. "I'm only one man."

"Well, don't try any funny business." Leon said.

"I wouldn't dream of it." Ripley replied. "You do know that if you kill me, it would be a lot more difficult to find your dear Lord O'Donnell."

"We're well aware of that." Panther replied.

"Good. Because cooperation is key in rescues like these." Ripley said as he continued walking.

"And why are you cooperating with us?" Leon asked.

"Because I already have all the data I need. Besides, Wolf is no good to me dead."

Leon's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean by that?"

"See for yourself." Darren said as he started to open the door to the room Wolf was in. "It takes a day and a half to reach this station from Sargasso which means that 3 days were taken where I could do what I wanted." He said, grinning.

"And you would announce this why?" Panther asked.

"Why not?" Darren replied as he opened the door, revealing the trembling, slightly emaciated body of Wolf as he stood, his limbs entombed with metal vices. His head seemed to have been "plugged in" to a computer that came out of the ceiling.

One of the pirates aimed at said computer but Panther ordered him to stand down. "We don't know what's going to happen." Panther hissed. "For all we know, doing that could kill Wolf."

"Indeed." Darren said. "What shall you do, what shall you do, indeed." Darren paced, grinning like a madman.

"Release him." Leon ordered as Wolf continued to mumble to himself.

"Or what? Kill me? You need me." Darren said. "And I don't have to do anything and he" Darren nodded at Wolf. "Will die."

"Fine." Leon said as he marched forward, knife in hand. "I'll just have to make you suffer." The smile on his face failed to reach his eyes. "I'm good at doing that."

Darren's eyes lit up with excitement. "You're going to have to catch me first! Haha!" He said as he started to jog to a set of stairs. Leon ran after him as the rest of the group followed. 

Then a shot nearly hit Darren's feet, startling him and making him stumble. A hand then tightly gripped his arm. "Gotcha." Leon whispered in his ear before a sharp pain was felt in it. 

"Hurgh... you're gonna have to do better than that!" Darren exclaimed as he turned around, ripping the earlobe off in the process. 

Leon launched himself, giddy at the prospect to do more damage. "You know what, if you make my end spectacular," Darren said as he side-stepped Leon, "then I'll tell you how to release your dear Lord O'Donnell." He still got grazed in the side. "Is that all? Come now, you can do better than that!" 

Leon circled with Darren. "None of you interfere or the secret will never leave these lips." Darren said to the group of pirates surrounding them. 

Just then, blasts were fired at the anchors holding Wolf's limbs in place, disabling them and allowing him to fall into Panther's arms.

Darren looked over at his former prize. "Well, that's no fun. Oh well, I'll just-" Darren then ran at Leon. He produced a needle from his pocket and attempted to stab at Leon with it. Dodging, Leon sliced into the hand that held the needle.

"Leon! You're gonna have to hurry it up! The bomb's just been planted!"

"Okay." Leon quickly slashed up the arm, spraying blood every which way. "More! MORE!" Darren exclaimed with a twinkle in his eye.

"The fuck's wrong with this guy?!" Leon muttered as he kept slashing and cutting. Darren laughed in his face as Leon held him down to cut out his tongue. "Shut up." Leon uttered as he drew his blade across the base, feeling the muscle wriggle while tearing it out of the ape's mouth.

Leon looked at his watch. "Shit, 15 minutes left. I have to go." He got up and ran, but not before blinding the ape.

He jumped into his Wolfen and started it. Only Panther was still waiting as the transport ship holding everyone else had already left. 

Darren was still clinging to life, choking on his own blood when the bomb went off, destroying the Aphelion. The last thought that went through his head was "Born in pain, I will die as such. A perfect bookend."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fox and Falco visit Wolf in hospital.

"I'm sorry, but what?" Falco asked.

"All I'm saying Falco is that I owe it to him. He's saved my life a couple of times already you know."

"Yeah, and before that, he tried his best to kill you, Fox! He ripped off your leg for fuck's sake!"

"You don't think I know that? Well, how about this: I'm visiting to see if he's actually worthy of protecting Corneria, like we have."

"Uh-huh, we both know the answer to that one."

"Maybe you do Falco, but I don't. There's more to him, to them even, than hardened criminals and killers-for-hire."

"Fox, sometimes I find it impossible to understand you. A pirate will always be a pirate, end of story. But, since you're so adamant about this one, I'll throw my wings in the air! No, wait, I'll do one better! How about I come along? Instead of you versus the 3 of them, it'll be us against them!"

Fox looks at him with surprise. "What?" Falco said.

"I... didn't think you'd actually come with me."

"Somebody's gotta have your back."

"Heh, so you're serious?"

"Yeah, dead serious. I couldn't trust'em as far as I can throw'em, and I can't even lift'em!"

"Hahaha! Alright. We'll have to leave soon though."

"K. How long were you planning to-"

Fox shrugged. "Couple of hours."

Falco raised an eyebrow. "Couple of hours? And what about the Arwings?"

"Slippy can take care of those, you know that."

"I know." He replied. "But not as well as me." He muttered under his breath.

\--

"So." Leon said as he leaned over Wolf's body.

"Remind me again why we had to get rid of that guy in the first place?"

"Apparently, he was in possession of technology that would have seriously threatened Cornerian security if it had been allowed to fully develop."

"Oh, he was one weird motherfucker. He was literally asking for it."

"I heard." Panthers ears flattened for a second before springing back up. "Now, I've also heard... interesting rumors about the late Dr. Ripley."

"Oh?" Leon grinned. "Do tell."

"Well, for one, he's already supposed to be dead, even before we were requested to put him down. According to a contact that worked in the same department he did, he was killed during a bombing run, never got out since the building collapsed on top of him."

"Mmmmm. Must've been during the Andross reign, eh? But then, what were we facing?"

"Yes. Same source also claimed that the Dr. specialized in genetic manipulation and that he, and his team, were tasked with finding a way to become immortal."

Leon squinted an eye. "Really?"

"Look, I'm just telling you what I've heard. Anyways, The Dr. apparently had a penchant for cloning and brain scan digitization and that he often experimented on himself. Now, if what I've heard is correct, then I imagine that that work was never finished. And you were there after, Leon. Not every building was destroyed, is that right?"

"Yes."

"You get where this is going?"

"So, we're getting rid of clones of the guy?"

"It's the best theory I have at the moment."

"You mean the only theory."

Panther nodded. "You wanna play a little poker?"

Leon shrugged his shoulders. "Got nothing better to do. Least I'm not listening to some crackpot theory anymore."

"At least, I hope it is crackpot." Leon thought to himself.

"Uh-huh." Panther said as he set the game up. 

It wasn't long after until there was a knock on the door. Panther made a look of pure confusion while Leon stared suspiciously at the now open door revealing Fox and Falco.

They said nothing as they stood over Wolf, Fox eventually pulling up a seat. The silence that followed was long and awkward. Falco stared at the floor, only making glances toward Fox who, in turn, observed everyone else in the room. Leon stared ahead, looking at nothing in particular while Panther started to ease back, switching between Fox and Falco. The cards were still layed haphazardly on Wolf.

"Would you like to play a game of cards?" Panther asked.

"Panther, you can't be-"

"I'm just trying to be friendly, Leon." Panther tried. He turned back to Fox and Falco. "So, how about it?"

"...Yes."

"Fox!" Falco exclaimed.

Fox sighed and smiled at Falco in response. "You can go if you want, Falco."

"Like hell I am!" Falco said. "You know I'm not leaving you alone with these three!"

"Then get comfy Falco, we're gonna be here a while."

Falco let out a discontented growl but found a chair for himself as well. "Fine." He said.

Panther laughed at Falco's outburst.

Falco faced him. "The fuck's so funny?"

"You, of course."

"Why you black-furred son of a-"

"Because we pose no threat."

"Huh?"

"Leon and I, we're just here to make sure Wolf wakes up to familiar faces, that is it."

"But you're our enemies!"

"Only on the battlefield. I personally have no issue with Star Fox, neither does Leon. And besides, did you really think we would attack or plan to attack the moment we saw you? Really?" Panther said with a smirk.

"Fuck you." Falco said.

"Gladly. Now, let's play shall we?"

\--

It had been a couple of hours since Fox and Falco had come through the door and already, the relationship between the four had changed drastically. Suspicions and prejudices remained of course, but were put to the backseat by the relaxed atmosphere of the room.

"Ha! You pick that up pretty quickly Fox!" Panther exclaimed. "Another game?"

"Yeah, one more."

"Alright then, another game of Cheat! Leon, Falco, you joining?"

"Nah, think I'm just gonna sit this one out." Falco replied.

"Of course!" Leon happily exclaimed.

Alright! 3 players! 17 cards! You remember the rules Fox?"

"Of course I do."

"Good, good. Now let's go!"

"Aces!" Fox called. Panther put the first card in the discard pile while Leon put in two, both faces straight as an arrow. Fox himself put one card in there. 

"Twos." Leon said. He put another two cards in. 

"Cheat!" Fox said. Leon put the two cards face up. He smirked as they showed a two of clubs and a two of hearts. 

"Ah, Shoot." Fox said as he gathered up the discard pile into his own hand.

"Shouldn't call so soon, Fox." Leon said.

\--

The night welcomed Fox and Falco. "That wasn't so bad, was it?" Fox said as they strolled along the street, making their way to Fox's car. 

"I guess not. It's just strange though, the way they were today was nothing like what I thought they would be like."

"Hehehe! I think you need to get outside a little more. Truthfully, I didn't think they would be as friendly as they were either, but I wasn't too terribly surprised."

"I'm just glad it turned out alright. Since we're out here, you wanna go for a drink?"

"You know I don't drink Falco."

Falco grinned. "That's what you always say Fox."


	3. Chapter 3

Several weeks passed. Falco had stopped coming altogether. He would never fully trust them but after a few visits, he trusted them enough to not make a move on Fox.

Fox himself had sought out others, of course, he was of that age. But during the Aparoid invasion, Wolf changed and this in turn left Fox to wonder why. What had caused him to switch like that? Wolf himself had simply explained that if anyone was to defeat Fox, it would be him; a bitter competition between son and student, as it were. But Fox didn't fully believe that explanation. No, there was something else going on and he needed to find out what.

"So, Panther."

"Mmm?" Panther grunted, staring at the little screen depicting some kind of police procedural. Leon was out on another mission, which explained his absence.

"How did you and Wolf meet?"

"Simple. Sources told me of an opening in the Star Wolf team. I applied, demonstrated my abilities and was welcomed aboard."

"That's it huh?"

"Yes?"

"What's he like?"

"What... do you mean?"

"I mean, what's he like when he's not fighting?"

"Oh, when he's not on any mission you mean?"

"Yeah, that's what I just said."

"Yes, well, he's really not all that different from that gruff exterior you seem to know so well. Besides that, he does a lot of administrative duties."

"I didn't take him for a pencil pusher!"

"There's a lot you don't know. For instance, he's more than willing to help out if there's an issue if you're a resident of the Sargasso Hideout. And naturally, he's a proponent of self-sufficiency and he can help get that started as well. There's a reason why everybody looks up to him after all."

"I thought it was just fear."

"Oh, there's that too. Wait, did I explain how wide his musical tastes are?"

"What?"

"That man loves music like it's no one's business! Sure, what you hear in Sargasso is your basic rock or metal track, but that's usually the choice of the residents themselves rather than Wolf's own selection."

"Uh-huh."

"I know. Say, you've been coming here for a while now, why?"

Fox's ears flattened. "I... don't know."

Panther frowned a little. "Fair enough. It's obvious you care about him though-"

It was then that Wolf awoke. The bridge between dream and reality hadn't completely crossed over. To him, this was another situation where either he, or someone he knew, was going to die, so he fought.

He growled and slashed feebly at Panther, his muscles atrophied to the point where he had trouble moving. His eye moved erratically, checking for threats. It centered on Fox who looked at him with a strange mix of relief and concern. 

Wolf's mind reeled as his body tried to imitate multiple scenarios simultaneously, one after another, resulting in Wolf writhing on the floor as his legs were too weak to carry his body.

It was Panther who called a nurse who in turn called in a coworker to help deal with the situation. "NO! NO!" Wolf yelled, terrified. YOU WON'T GET ME THIS TIME!" He screamed as he struggled against the four people trying to put him back in bed. Hysterical laughter ensued. The nurse signaled for the other three to stay quiet and out of the way until Wolf had calmed down.

"Hey! Hey!" The nurse said, getting his attention.

He stopped laughing immediately and turned his eye to her; he squinted. "Who are you?" He half-growled, half-whispered.

"My name is Wren. To answer your second question, you're in a hospital. I'm only here to help."

"I've never... seen you before." He said between breaths as the adrenaline started to wear off.

She chuckled. "I suppose you haven't. Tell me, why did you wake up ready to defend yourself?"

"I'm... gonna die aren't I? If not now, then soon." Wolf said with an unknowable expression.

"You're scared you're going to die?"

"...Again."

Wren cocked her head. "What do you mean?"

"This is a dream, or a vision or something! I'm gonna die and I'll just move to another experience..." Wolf bowed his head, almost as if he was resigned to his fate. For as long as Fox had known him, he had never seen him this way and it made him feel weird. The Wolf he knew would never give up like this. The mission Panther and Leon told him about must've been a lot worse than what they told him.

"Who do you see in these dreams or visions?"

"People I know... I'm never able... to keep them, or me, from dying."

"Do you know me?"

"No, but... but..." Then he had a revelation. "Then..."

Nurse Wren smiled. "Welcome back."

Trembling, but relieved, Wolf let himself drop back onto the blanket only to see three more faces staring down at him from the other side: another nurse, Panther Caroso, and Fox McCloud... Wait.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE FOX?!"

"I-"

"GET THE FUCK OUT! I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU'RE GODDAMN FACE! OUT!! GET OUT!!!"

"Alright, it's time for you to leave, Mr. McCloud." The coworker said as Wolf continued to yell until his voice became hoarse.

Wolf turned to Panther. "Why the fuck was he here?!"

Panther shrugged. "Fox thought it his obligation, I guess."

"Obligation? Typical." Wolf spat. "A pup as always."

\--

As Fox walked along back to his car, he realized that that weird feeling he had gotten when seeing Wolf give up like that had been the same feeling as when he told Krystal that she couldn't be around him anymore; he never did explain himself after and she never returned. But why? Why did he feel like that? It wasn't like he hurt Wolf since he never got the chance to talk, so why? 

He would just have to find out.


End file.
